Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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