For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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