we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
