This girl is more easily done than said...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
