what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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