I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
