oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
