I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
