Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
