I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
