yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
