I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This is my gift to your gina
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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