We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
