Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize