i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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