I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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