Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
