thus making me awesome and them whores
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
