i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
