i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
