I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
