I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
