guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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