my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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