i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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