How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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