You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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