i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
do herpes really smell.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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