It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
