i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
