Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
