did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
