dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
