So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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