I smell stomach acid.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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