Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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