i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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