I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
