did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
