i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
