Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
