I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
whose parrot is this?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
