Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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