well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
operation harelip BJ is a go
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
