she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
