Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
