You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
