I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
