There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
