PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
