I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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