I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
