the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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