I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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