i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
