just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
