i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
